Yeah…so Shane’s POV which is titled Scars and Songs (thank you Tracy!) is still going slowly…let me explain just a little peek of my life as I try to work…
Conversation in my house last night while I TRIED to write…
Let me set the scene. I’m in the dining room. My mother (she’s living with us since the Hurricane sleeping in Hailey’s room) is OCD (I think so)… cleaning stuff as usual, like, as we sit at the table, she’s just cleaning everything…putting away and wiping down stuff we are STILL using. Emmy the two year old is running in a circle in front of an extremely loud TV episode of Annoying Orange (worst show ever) screaming. Phil our childhood friend (manwhore) who has been staying with us since a really bad (bat-shit crazy ass bitch) break-up in August is sitting at my kitchen island listening to me bounce ideas off him. My husband is hiding somewhere else (lucky fuck). Hailey my 6 year old is next to me writing her own book about Shane and Grace (little brat is a much better writer than me AND she draws pictures too)…
Me: I sat down with Dan (my husband) and he went through everything I need to know to make sure I write the correct crap that will make Shane end up in jail in that scene, ya know? Oh spank me! (I dropped my water all over the table and yes I do yell spank me when I do stupid shit) My mother sweeps in an cleans the water before I can even lift my computer up…
My mom: Can I read it yet?
Hailey: Why is Shane going to jail?
Me: Because in my book everybody thinks he hurt Grace. It’s just make-believe.
My mom: Can I read it yet?
Phil: Did you make dinner yet?
Me: Seriously, shut up. Make your own damn dinner.
Hailey: I think Shane should tie Grace up! But, I’m hungry what’s for dinner?
Emmy: TIE ME UP! TIE ME UP WITH STRINGS!
Me: What the hell is happening?
Phil: Who’s getting tied up?
Hailey: Shane is going to tie Grace up and spank her. Then he’s going to jail. Daddy will take him!
Me: Wait! What? Grace doesn’t get spanked. She gets stabbed by the bad guy.
My mom: Can he stop here with Shane first?
Hailey: He stabs her? HE needs to be tied up!
Me: Shane is NOT the kind of guy that would get tied up sweetie, laugh giggle.
Hailey: I thought Shane and Grace loved each other! Do they kiss like I want to kiss Gregory. (Yeah, she has a boyfriend in her class named Gregory, grrr.)
Me: If you kiss Gregory again your lips might fall off.
Phil: Yeah…fall off.
Emmy: Tie Hailey up! (Somehow she has string and is now trying to tie up Hailey)
My mom: Did she get that yarn from my bag? Is that kid going through my stuff? I was making a freaking scarf!
Hailey: Emmy tie me up and you be Gregory and spank me!
Me: What the EFF? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
Dan: (peeks head out of hiding) She’s so her mother.
Me: SHUT UP!
My mother: Um. When’s my apartment going to be finished? This is just too strange for me.
Then I had to cook dinner. Twice.
Don’t even ask.
I effing ended up eating cookies.